Its not often i say that i have had my mind completely blown by a new band, but this time is the ecseption! i have just herd the best evaR! Album! and if you can't see that this is thE besT albuM evaR for Specter: the Anniealation, then you are a total looozer!

The band is called jesuSucks, and this is their self titled debyou CD. And it rocks so hard that it makes viagra look like asprin, man! Its Forseti Putanesca, Kaiju Motototo and Yuri Boofengooten, who used to sing for Assfucked Angel back in Swedin, put out by Acces Denied records, and so hot off the pres that it burned my fuckin hands, man!

A lot of so called death metal bands these days are pussies! They don't wanna sticker on there CD so they dance around the whole glory that is satan in music without ever saying the name of there LORD AND MASTER!!!

but these guys are no homos. They make it all 2 clear that they are coming from hell, and gonna take you back with them! No prisonerz, dude!!!

You gotta check this shit out. Right from the start, here is 'anthem,' making it cleer that they are the masters of satan music!

You think that's kewl? That's kewl, alright, but check this shit out. This is called 'blood of chist' if this aint the music to have your specter Kults come out of the sewers 2, i dont know what is, man!!!

And check this out. 'doom' i mean, this is so fuckin heavy. i luv death guitatz!!!

but i bet your saying these guys cant open a dictionary. fuck you! Don't take their simple, lyrical honesty to be a sign of a lack of intellgence. check out 'technical death metal'

and that is just a sampil! These guys are the shit, man!!! Drumz, guitarz and lyricz so terrible and dark that you want to end it all! run screaming into the night and kill for your lord and master! Satan stands tall and sayz whose your daddy?!??!? and this CD is his voice!

The Ugly Truth The good news is that, as bad as this sounds, there are no banes or spectres involved with it. The stupidity that spawned this is 100% human, with no supernatural backing whatsoever. The bad news is that if you listen to this CD, your parents will disown you, your significant other will leave you, your pets will avoid you for fear of being eaten, killed or sexually molested, and your normal friends will think you're a complete moron. Your car may even allow itself to be stolen in order to avoid having to have this "music" played inside of it. And there's also a good chance of getting pissed on in the mosh pit by the lead singer, too. For Goddess' sake, just say no to stupid death metal CDs. At least, back in the old days when these things came out on vinyl, you could frame the cover for its artistic value and use the record as a frisbee. But CDs don't make good frisbees, and the covers are too damn small to put on the wall, much less your desk at work. And you know that no one worth having in bed is at all interested in your ability to mime the guitar movements for "Death Pod," "Animal (Fuck Like a Beast)" or "I Come Blood," okay? Only you can stop the senseless slaughter of your own brain cells. Peace out. (A public service announcement from your friends at The Wraith Project)