A Special Message from William Jefferson Clinton*, former President of the United States, about Exalted: the Abyssals

My fellow Americans:

I would like, today, to make an appeal to you. An appeal to your hearts, to your sense of patriotism, and also for the sake of my immortal soul, which has been placed in jeopardy by recent events. I need you all to go and buy a copy - strike that, several copies - of Exalted: the Abyssals as soon as possible, otherwise I might be in some real big trouble, here.

I'm sure that most of you have heard of something called Gen-Con. I never had before, but my wife - that's Senator Clinton of New York - told me that I should go and meet with the future leaders of America. I suspect she really wanted to get me out of the house for the weekend while Janet and Tipper were over, but a husband ought to obey his wife like he promised. Especially when she's got a stun gun and steel-toed boots.

So I did like she asked, and I have to say that you are all a very interesting and unique group of future leaders. I am certain that long hours spent pretending to be something you're not will hold you in good stead should you ever decide to serve the public, as I have. In fact, I find myself wishing such quality games had existed when I was a boy! Maybe I'd be even better at roleplaying than I am now...

While I was there, I was approached by a rather striking young lady. She said she wanted to talk to me about an amazing land, just beyond the realm of imagination, where anything is possible and most people wore even less clothing than she did. I thought she wanted to discuss a life of public service, so I told my Secret Service minders to go have lunch on my tab, and the young lady and I went off somewhere private.

Unfortunately, this young lady had other things on her mind. I was knocked unconscious, dressed up in bondage clothing and taken to the castle of something called a Deathlord. And then they welcomed me as one of their own, having been told that I was the world's biggest Abyssal. They wished that I should join them in their quest to bring an endless night to this strange world of theirs.

Now, I don't have the heart - or the courage, quite frankly - to tell them that I was actually being called the world's biggest asshole. Maybe the word doesn't translate very well, down here. But that doesn't really matter at this point: I need to get home as soon as possible, and I need you all to help make that happen.

So please - even in this time of strife and hardship, find some way to buy multiple copies of this book. I'm hoping that all the excitement of high sales will distract my "servants," and I can get out of this crazy dump before they try and make me lead a raiding party, or something.

Thank you for your time, and God Bless America.

William Jefferson Clinton*